responding to accusations of abuse, long Show more
Okay so I've been accused of some stuff today and I wanna address this cuz if i say nothing it feels like I'm just saying "yeah it's all true."
Firstly I wanna say, if we're friends and you wanna take some distance because of this, I'll understand and no hard feelings.
Also if ur on my instance and want off, again, no hard feelings. Do what ya gotta do to feel safe.
That said, I was accused of targeting young, neurodivergent queers and exploiting them for sex.
Firstly I just kinda wanna point to my history of tending to push people away who get lewd with me.
I'm ace, yes I do have sexual relationships, but they tend to be only after I'm very close with a person, and in situations where its plainly apparent that that connection goes both ways.
There has been an exception recently and I regret that but it was consensual and with someone close to my own age, not someone significantly younger than me.
As far as my offering a safe place and affection goes, that's true. I offer a safe place to my friends, who often I see the same kind of neurofivergencies in as I have myself. Sometimes these people are closer to 18 than to 30, but I offer this safety in the hopes of providing a safe space for them to heal from their trauma and not as a way for me to try and exploit them. I genuinely care very deeply about my friends, and I want them to be safe and happy from the folks who would invalidate and exclude them for being ace or kin or whatever else. I tend to shy away from sexual connections tho in cases like this. People who are dealing with trauma dont need some 30 year old dragon tryna do things with them.
As for using my clout to ostracize people.
I keep throwing my clout away and trying to keep it away. I dont want to be an influencer on here, I only come here for friends and in the hopes of making a space that's safe for people like me so that they might not have to go through the hurt I've gone through.
That said yeah, I've called some people out for the ways they've hurt me. Because they hurt me. I wasnt aiming to ostracize anyone, only to make folks aware of the ways in which they hurt me, again, in the hopes of preventing others going through the same stuff.
Finally I do tend to do a lot of "you dont need to apologize for taking up space" kinda stuff. Because people who've themselves been abused tend to apologize a lot for existing. I know, I've done this myself. I'm trying to help folks heal from their trauma, and let them realize that they are not an imposition on those around them. We deserve to exist. You deserve to exist. That's all. We shouldn't have to apologize for merely being. Or for being the same as every other person, emotional, and sometimes sad. People deserve their space.
Okay, I think I'm done. If anybody has questions or wants to talk about this, in replies or dms, I'll be around.
And again if anybody wants to take some space away from me, no hard feelings. Be safe.
re: responding to accusations of abuse Show more
Also I wanna say, I feel like I know who's leveling these accusations and even if you do too, please dont go after them on my behalf.
I'd rather just respond to the accusations than start a war.
An LGBTQIA+ and kin friendly instance for monsters to convene and share tips for devouring humanity and socialize.